Yesterday, on my way to the park with the dogs, I passed a woman in tight jeans bent over a child in a buggy.

She set off this train of thought.

Wow, she’s too skinny. What was the line from that movie, years ago, you know, the one where Harrison Ford calls Sigourney Weaver a skinny assed bitch or something? It wasn’t Nine to Five, that was Dolly Parton.  Working Girl?  But wouldn’t that mean a prostitute? Working Woman? Work Place? No. Oh come on, it had that other actress in it, Michelle? No, Melanie. Yes, Melanie something. Philips? No, wasn’t Melanie Phillips the druggy daughter of…some rock and roll type, was it one of Peter Paul and Mary? No wait, not Melanie. Mackenzie? Wasn’t she a druggie because of some weird relationship with her father? Incest? Not her, anyway, the Melanie married to that Spanish actor, the one who isn’t Javier Bardem.  Anyway, isn’t Javier Bardem going out with the actress from the Woody Allen film they starred in together, oh, you know, the gorgeous one? Where was I? Oh yes, the other Spanish actor, the one who stuck with Melanie whatever even after her plastic surgery went wrong, or was it that she got fat? Antonio something. Maybe it was Working Girl?

By the time I caught myself in the middle of this train of thought, I had reached the park and felt thoroughly sickened at a. the state of my memory and b. the contents of my brain. It would be less appalling if I could remember the details of more important things. But I’m afraid this is pretty typical of my internal monologues.

I do, however, definitely know the name of the Foreign Secretary. That’s easy. William Hague. Or is it Ian Duncan Smith? I always get those two mixed up.

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18 thoughts on “Train of thought.

  1. Lucy Darwin 6 years ago

    Hello Meg, you are thinking of…Melanie Griffiths who married Antonio Banderas. The Woody Allen film you are thinking of is Vicky Cristina Barcelona and the actress Penelope Cruz and the foreign secretary is indeed (sadly because I absolutely cannot stand his voice) William Hague. x

    1. Meg 6 years ago

      You’re good Lucy. Really good. I wish we could arrange one of those Frankenstein-type operations where we sit in adjoining chairs and lightning strikes the little metal beanies and our brains switch places. I’m willing to try if you are. Though I’m not sure what the benefit to you would be.

  2. bookwitch 6 years ago

    Penelope Cruz is married to Hague??

    1. Marina 6 years ago

      No, Penelope Cruz is married to Javier Bardem, funnily enough. My wobbling brain feels comforted by all this circularity of track.

  3. Amylovesbooks 6 years ago

    I think Melanie Griffiths did have childhood weirdness. Her mom was Alfred Hitchcocks muse or something like that. I think.

    1. Meg 6 years ago

      You’re right, her mother was Tippi Hedron, from The Birds?

  4. Lucy Darwin 6 years ago

    Oh and the film was/is Working Girl brilliantly directed by Mike Nichols who also directed Postcards from the Edge which contains the funniest line ever (exag. Ed.) Meryl Streep etc squeezed in a trailer on set and Rob Reiner utters “any more people in here and we’ll need a lubricant” ….. This is my train of thought are you sure you want this? I am quite sure the merger would be of far more benefit to me than to you Meg x

  5. kokorako 6 years ago

    I like the way a woman tending her child can set off a string of doubts (and even some nice movie memories) in another woman passing by… the powers that mothers have, even when they are doing nothing much at all! Unfortunately for my brain I completely understood your train of thought Meg – in fact I rather assumed that’s how everyone thought, and was quite freaked out by the precise response by Lucy. I am never going to be able to raise my bar to pub quiz standards of knowledge. Strangely you don’t see much of these internal dialogues in either monologues or novels. Unbearable I suppose for reader and those who recognise the trail?

    1. Meg 6 years ago

      I think we all do it all the time but don’t notice — it was the sudden recognition of the whole internal dialogue that made me laugh.

  6. Gail 6 years ago

    It all comes from working at People.

    1. Meg 6 years ago

      But why did we end up working at People? Why not The Economist? Ask yourself that, Gail.

    2. Gail 6 years ago

      Because the Economist didn’t exist then. At least not in the U.S.

  7. Sara 6 years ago

    My train of thought is often similarly de-railed.
    Thanks so much for your comment on my blog – I was ridiculously pleased by it.

  8. Kirsten Baron 6 years ago

    This derailed interior monologue, aka The Monkey Mind, happens to me as well (of course) although with total recall of useless information, which means that I can go very far from the starting point in almost no time… The thing that bothers me the most about it, though, is that while I’m chasing trivia round the windy bends of my brain matter, I stop hearing bird song, feeling the wind and seeing the patterns of the lichen on the stone.

  9. Sharon Creech 6 years ago

    Okay, yes, I completely get that mind: it is mine. Or is it yours? In any case, yes, we probably oughta meet. So: your train of thought reminded me of my crazy mental chase yesterday–for the name of the actress I confuse with Drew Barrymore. . .who is it, that other one, she was in the movie with whatshisname, the blond guy with the funny nose, he moves in with her & her boyfriend or is it husband, who is that guy, and what was I, oh yeah, the girl who I get confused w/Drew Barrymore, who is that?. . . .oh gawddddddddddd.

  10. Sharon Creech 6 years ago

    Wait! I took a nap and remembered the name: Kate Hudson. I think. But also I meant to tell you (but forgot) that you might enjoy Nora Ephron’s latest collection, I REMEMBER NOTHING. Great title, mm?

    1. Meg 6 years ago

      Yes, I’ve seen it. Keep forgetting to buy it.

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