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SLOGANS FOR OUR TIME

By Meg Rosoff on 28 November 2011

It started at the airport.

The woman ahead of me had a sport utility bag with the words LIVE LOVE LAUGH BELIEVE HOPE DREAM DANCE on it.

And I thought All at once?

And then, Don’t tell me what to do.  Especially on a cheap sports bag. But it was too late.  Suddenly, slogans are everywhere.

Stones with STRENGTH on them.

Endless weathered wooden plaques with DANCE LIKE NO ONE’S WATCHING, SING LIKE YOU’RE IN THE SHOWER, HAVE SEX LIKE A BABOON IN A TREE or some such.

Americans seem desperate for meaning. And Brit sloganism is not far behind.

So naturally, I thought I’d set the record straight. Here are some slogans from my personal shop window, available on mugs, t-shirts, acid free paper (add $100 framed), headstones and extra large support garments.

 

  1. DANCE LIKE YOU’RE ON A GIBBET.
  2. FLY LIKE YOU’VE GOT A STONE ROUND YOUR NECK.
  3. JUST DON’T.  REALLY, I’M NOT KIDDING.
  4. BE NICE OR LEAVE.
  5. PLOD FASTER.
  6. MORE STUFF TO EASE THE PAIN.
  7. BOOZE. PROZAC. ASPIRIN. LIPITOR. DEAD.
And then I remembered the granddaddy of all slogans, the one from my youth — IBM’s little grey desk sign.
It read simply, THINK.

Posted in | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 18 Responses

18 responses to “SLOGANS FOR OUR TIME”

  1. Vanessa Harbour
    Vanessa Harbour 28 November 2011 at 4:26 pm | | Reply

    Oh Meg I couldn’t agree more. Am so tired of being told to be calm and carry on and various variations. I don’t feel calm and I certainly feel like carrying on, so leave me alone. But do they listen no they find some other delightful slogan to throw at me. Definite slogan overkill. Great post

  2. Zannah Kearns
    Zannah Kearns 28 November 2011 at 5:58 pm | | Reply

    Dance like you’re on a gibbet made me cackle like a hyena. I might have to place an order!

  3. Martine
    Martine 28 November 2011 at 7:17 pm | | Reply

    thanks, you really brightened my day:-)
    martine

  4. Stella
    Stella 28 November 2011 at 10:40 pm | | Reply

    I saw a version of ‘Keep Calm and Carry On’ spelled out in painkillers, sleeping tablets and anti-depressants. I rather liked it.

  5. Philip Ardagh
    Philip Ardagh 28 November 2011 at 11:15 pm | | Reply

    That’s one of the reasons why I started #ArdaghTips on Twitter… I got sick of wallowing knee-deep in feel-good treacle.

  6. Meggan for president « captaintess
    Meggan for president « captaintess 29 November 2011 at 10:03 am |

    [...] WATCHING, SING LIKE YOU’RE IN THE SHOWER, HAVE SEX LIKE A BABOON IN A TREE or some such. ” Meg Rosoff Share this:TwitterFacebookLike this:GillaBli först att gilla denna [...]

  7. Kate
    Kate 29 November 2011 at 11:11 am | | Reply

    I actually saw ‘Be Nice or Leave’ on something just the other day!

  8. Mik
    Mik 29 November 2011 at 11:24 am | | Reply

    then the ones from childhood:

    Don’t talk with your mouthful
    Sit still and be quiet

  9. Wendy Wise
    Wendy Wise 29 November 2011 at 11:47 am | | Reply

    Very true and very funny! My fave slogan was across the chest of a big French lorry driver, it read “Strong Whisky Scooters”

  10. Maudie Stokes
    Maudie Stokes 29 November 2011 at 4:37 pm | | Reply

    Loved plod faster!

  11. erica
    erica 29 November 2011 at 6:19 pm | | Reply

    I’ll take a “plod faster” bumper sticker, please.

  12. Suranne Keynes
    Suranne Keynes 29 November 2011 at 8:35 pm | | Reply

    What about “Yes we can!” ?

  13. Justsal
    Justsal 30 November 2011 at 2:31 am | | Reply

    Loved #7 Though personally I’d have added ‘Xanax’ :)

  14. Bazza
    Bazza 30 November 2011 at 5:40 pm | | Reply

    You are a funny lady. I mean that in a nice way!
    One of my favourite Punch cartoons was of a man painting a huge sign in what looked like a library. It read ‘THIMK’(sic).
    Click here for Bazza’s Blog ‘To Discover Ice’

  15. sharon creech
    sharon creech 30 November 2011 at 8:11 pm | | Reply

    Please adopt me.

    1. Meg Rosoff
      Meg Rosoff 2 December 2011 at 8:52 am | | Reply

      Legal petitions have been filed.

  16. Lynne Harris
    Lynne Harris 30 November 2011 at 11:10 pm | | Reply

    my favourite is C.B.A. – Can’t be Arsed

  17. Amy
    Amy 18 April 2012 at 9:25 pm | | Reply

    Yes to everything you said. And the best version of that godforsaken ‘keep calm and carry on being smug and ignoring inconventient truths’ is this one here: http://pinterest.com/pin/244883298457960320/

    In case my technical ineptitude means the link doesn’t work, it says ‘I usually try to keep my sadness pent up inside where it can fester quietly as a mental illness’.

    I would like it on my wall.

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