Eck the Halls.

Well, it’s clear what this year’s top Christmas gift is, and it’s not the pooping dachshund.

I’ll give you a hint:

• God Eck ye merry gentlemen.
• Oh little town of Ecklehem.
• We three Ecks of orient are.

Yes, you guessed it, it’s a genuine bonafide soft stuffed Eck, direct from There Is No Dog, created in 3-D by Nick Godlee (costume designer for The Lion King and Matrix), each one handmade from 100% natural Eck skin and entirely non-edible.

I still have a few left from my shipment of smuggled, sorry, snuggled Ecks, and if you live in America, you can order them (with or without a signed copy of There Is No Dog) from their Supreme Maker. Just fill out the form here, and I’ll send you instructions of what to do next.

Here are some unsolicited testimonials from rehomed Ecks.

I love my hat.

I'm more extinct. No, I am.

Every Eck should have a nest.

I just love books. Yum.

Ignore him. I'm cuter.

Forget the rumpus. When's lunch?

Order today.  There are just thirteen days left to Christmas.

I know, I know.

Hairy.