Hello dear loyal bloggees. I know you depend on me for the latest and hottest trends in everything from literature to haute couture — and today I shall not disappoint you.

Yes, I have compiled a list of some of the most exotic and cutting edge baby names from around the world, all of which are available for your next hero, villain or dystopian dictator. Each of these names is guaranteed genuine (punctuation included) and has been tested on a genuine baby.

  1. NZ (a bit of nostalgia, perhaps, for a displaced Down Under sort, or a variation on the ever-popular India, China and Brooklyn?)
  2. Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii (does this name need any further description? I suppose, technically, it counts as a first name with five middle names?)
  3. Yeah Detroit. (Yeah, mom and dad.)
  4. Keenan Got Lucy (I’m afraid I read this numerous times as ‘Keenan Got Lucky’. Funnier, but wrong in so many ways.)
  5. Sex Fruit. (Sex Fruit Bellamy, Attorney at Law?)
  6. Number 16 Bus Shelter. (No comment. The mind is too busy boggling.)
  7. 4Real. (And that name is indeed, 4HonestToGoodnessReal.)
  8.  Fish and Chips. (Twins.  Also Benson and Hedges.)
  9. @  (This name comes from China. I don’t know how to say ‘at’ in Chinese)
  10. Shelia. And She’lia. (Sisters, obv.)
  11. Million’z A’Dolla’z!! (America? Wild guess!!!)
  12. Le-a.  (Pronounced Ledasha. Geddit?)

And finally, my absolute favourite, from Sweden:

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Pronounced ‘Albin’.

But you will have figured that out.

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16 thoughts on “Bella and Peta are so last year.

  1. Suranne Keynes 5 years ago

    Ha ha

  2. bookwitch 5 years ago

    I believe dear Albin was not allowed.

  3. Erika W 5 years ago

    I remember Frank Zappa’s son saying in an interview “Some times I wake in the middle of the night and say to myself incredulously “My name is Dweezil?”

  4. Ayse 5 years ago

    Beats Sam and Ella off the list that’s for sure!

  5. Joan 5 years ago

    You’re the best M’eg!

  6. Bazza 5 years ago

    Hilarious post. More so because it’s true. Coincidentally, there are some remarks in the comments to my latest post (Treasure Island) about fictional character naming. Did you know that Mr & Mrs Evening named their twins Sam and Janet?
    Click here for Bazza’s Blog ‘To Discover Ice’

    1. Meg Rosoff 5 years ago

      Sam and Janet Evening took me a good 30 seconds longer than Sam and Ella.

  7. Rhiannon 5 years ago

    Absolutely too funny. I ALSO read Keenan Got Lucy, as Got Lucky the first read through. Subliminal messaging perhaps?

  8. Tabitha Suzuma 5 years ago

    My mother and I have always been a fan of ‘unusual’ names. I am the eldest of five Ts: Tabitha, Tadashi, Tansy, Thalia and Tiggy (who has now renamed himself Shin, short for Shinichi, his Japanese middle name). I have twin niecelets (= small nieces, I also like to make up words) named Isis and Ianthe (eye AN tee).

    I’ve written five YA books for Random House now and after the latest, FORBIDDEN, I received a lot of messages from readers (mainly American) asking how to pronounce the names, as well as quite a few negative comments about said names in the reviews. The book revolves around five children: Lochan/Lochie (made it up but much later was told it actually did exist), Maya (orignially Bella but changed at the last minute when the Twilight phenomenon hit – thanks Keren David), Tiffin (after the London school) and Willa. Lochan (pron. LOCK the gardEN) was the one most most enquired about and my publishers tactfully suggested I might use some slightly more conventional names in my next book. It’s true that I find uncertainty about the pronunciation of a main character’s name quite irritating when reading myself, but on the other hand I completely fail to grasp why any parent would want to give their child a name that has been used thousands of times before and will likely have to be replaced by a number or last name in school to distinguish him/her from all the other Jacks and Emilys (= top names for 2011 I believe). In my case, although I do admit that having to spell out my name during every formal phone call slightly annoying, it has been brilliant to find out that as far as the Internet world is concerned, my unusual first name combined with a last name unusual even in Japan makes me the only Tabitha Suzuma in the world (which is so useful for an author narcissistic enough to set up a Google Alert to notify her of any of her books’ reviews ;-))

    As for my other books it’s been a mixture: Flynn, Jennah, Raven (M), Lotte, Ella, Louis, Mathias, Amélie, Morgane and Jeremiah… A few well-used names, I admit: Louis has always been my favourite French name, Ella was based on a real-life Ella, and Flynn on a real-life Flynn. The others – well, I just loved them for being unusual without being totally weird. 🙂

    My best friend, knowing my propensity for giving my character ‘unusual’ names, sent me this link. It wasn’t particularly helpful, but it did make me laugh!
    http://notwithoutmyhandbag.com/blog/category/badbabynames/page/3/

  9. E.J. Runyon 5 years ago

    And I felt bad, not wanting to be called Irene. Sheesh!

  10. Kerridwen 5 years ago

    Ah, weird names!! All I have to do is look at mine and somewhat agree. It’s a real name, though probably more often spelt ‘Cerridwen’.. I also really love the name Eiddwen, because it’s pretty much mine minus K and R!! In my family, us three kids are ‘K’s’.. Our middle names are pretty regular, except ‘Tristan’ which I don’t think is as common..

  11. raych 5 years ago

    WHERE WAS THIS LIST THREE MONTHS AGO? ‘Eleanor’ seems so insipid now.

  12. Dorte 5 years ago

    LOL!

  13. Amanda Lillywhite 5 years ago

    Blessed as I am with a name that was quite often met with hilarity or disbelief while I was growing up in Australia, I feel for those kids. But maybe their parents had their best interests at heart – let’s join Johnny Cash in a rousing rendition of “A boy named Sue” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-1BJfDvSITY

  14. Holly 5 years ago

    My parents decided to call my brothers Daniel David and Joseph James, me Holly Ann Louise, and my darling little sister Rowanna Paige. Rowanna is Latin for sweet and gracious, and I guess my parents just got bored with the boring names.

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