1. Christmas is the most wonderful day of the year.
  2. Jostling with 4 billion other people on Oxford street is an inevitable part of the Christmas experience.
  3. Everyone loves getting presents.
  4. The Nutcracker never palls. Not even after 15 bloody years.
  5. Children don’t believe you love them if you don’t get them tons of expensive stuff.
  6. Whoever gets the most Christmas cards wins.

I don’t like getting presents (what else is the internet for if not to indulge our every whim 365 days a year?), most children have a crying jag at 4pm on Christmas day due to the inevitable disappointment of Christmas not being as satisfying as the second coming and the apocalypse all mixed into one, little kids DO generally prefer the box, big kids really only want money, and if you think an i-phone is going to improve your life I suggest you buy one yourself.

Christmas is the best time of the year to do something low-key, skip the debt, donate time or money to someone less fortunate, spend time with people you love, have a meal, a drink or two, some mince pies, a game of Bananagrams, laugh a lot and call it a life.

Yeah, yeah, it’s a big cliche, but most of us don’t need more stuff to be happy.

p.s. If anyone’s interested, all three of us need socks.


11 thoughts on “Christmas lies.

  1. Sara 6 years ago

    Socks are good. Three people on a sofa built for two watching “Robbie the Reindeer” also good.

  2. Helen 6 years ago

    And if you don’t like the socks you get, you can always stay indoors and make sock puppets. Plus or minus a few boozy hot chocolates!

  3. Laura Friedlander 6 years ago

    When I am not writing I am often to be found knitting socks -rarely get a pair for myself tho’ -they all seem to get given as presents! (What kind of socks would you like? Long, short, sloppy, fancy, stripey…aarrgghhh!!)

    1. Meg 6 years ago

      I don’t mind what sort mine are. Though I do really like those nice greyish shades of blue. Could you make me about ten pairs please? Don’t know why i never learned to knit, I love everything about knitting.

    2. Shelley Souza 6 years ago

      Knitting is the best. I don’t do much of it these days. The older sister of my best friend when I was six going on seven knew how to knit. I was fascinated by the translucence of the yellow plastic needles and the movement of the yarn hooking over to make a stitch. I remember a woman on the bus from school (in Notting Hill) to home (Holland Park) showing me how to hold the wool; so that I didn’t have to move my entire arm to hook the yarn over the needle.

      Perhaps I’ll knit a pair of New York socks for you (if you tell me your foot size) to wear for your keynote address at SCBWI in New York, next February. (These days, if I knit at all, generally, I knit for babies. I like the patterns for baby clothes. Plus they knit up quickly. My attention span is small…the perfect size for baby clothes.)

  4. Cate McKay-Haynes 6 years ago

    Absolutely. I don’t need more stuff. I do, however need more staff. I need a Downton Abbey load of them. Socks I’ve got. Merry Christmas!

    1. Meg 6 years ago

      Bananagrams is heaven. Unless you play with my daughter, who always wins. She says I’m a bad loser, but you would be too, by the 176th game.

  5. Martine 6 years ago

    I hand knitted socks for my entire family a few years ago and they were all delighted:-)
    since then I have given up on presents and make a charity donation instead.
    Totally agree with your post, people should give up faking it if they really don’t enjoy it.

  6. Jake Elliott 6 years ago

    If you actually trusted me with your address, I would bombard you with so many socks you’d be set for at least the next decade.

  7. Lauren McLaughlin 6 years ago

    Now if you could just convince all of my friends and family of this, then I could get down to the business of actually enjoying this holiday. I keep trying to convince my peeps that life is about Doing rather than Getting. They respectfully disagree and the transactional nature of this holiday persists.

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