You can't make this stuff up.
So, you're just coming to terms with fear of buttons, when another potential phobia rears its terrifying head. Anatidaephobia. The fear of being watched by a duck.
My lovely fan, Eliza Wimperis, has alerted me to this word/concept/life-threatening mental illness, and I can't quite get it out of my head. Why a duck? as the Marx Brothers might say. I feel quite strongly that all those Americans waving the flag for intelligent design should be confronted, forcibly, with Anatidaephobia. So, let me get this straight. A greater being created the duck, then the human, and then in a moment of divine whimsy....well, need I go on?
You can see why the idea of writing a book on the subject of God as a mad mercurial teenager appeals to me so strongly. The evidence is everywhere.