Half man half biscuit.

According to the Daily Mail, British scientists have created more than 150 human-animal hybrid embryos – known as “cybrids” – over the past three years. Animals with human cells implanted develop embryonic stem cells, which can be used to treat a range of incurable human illnesses. Which is good.

But I was hoping to get in early for an animal implant of my own.

Half horse would be an obvious choice. Fleet of foot with a long muscular neck and a swishy tail?  Who'd say no to that?

Half whippet? Wow. If I came over all athletic and sweet tempered no one would recognise me.

Orca?  Fast.  Weightless. And all that elegant black and white? Yes.

Raptor? Half a snowy owl would be perfect -- silent and wise-looking. Useful in meetings.

But I guess it makes sense to be practical. So I'm going for part Thoroughbred, part whippet, part owl and part killer whale (for the sushi). And part human.

Someone's gotta write the damn books.