Things I've given up for Lent.

Strictly speaking, as a Jew, I don't have to give anything up for lent. But I do find that extreme psychic deprivation distracts me from the various seething resentments that go with being a writer. So here's what I'm giving up:

1. Manolo Blahnik shoes.

2. Folding laundry.

3. Watching the Academy Awards and caring what anyone wore.

4. Plot development.

5. Answering the phone.

6. Justin Bieber.

7. Chocolate covered insects.

8. Hennessy and Coca Cola.

9. Polite applause.

10. Anything by Jonathan Franzen.

I think God will be impressed by my list.  I bet hers is similar.